Frugal Mom, Part II
A couple of months ago, I wrote an article called, “10 ways to be a little more frugal in 2024.” It’s very informative and one of my better writing pieces, in my opinion. I detailed different ways a parent could save money, which is important for many of us parents. Well, over the past month or so, I have added some good habits and subtracted some bad habits from my life. One of the bad habits that I have eliminated is overspending on food. I used to pay for takeout/drive-thru food daily, folks. I’m talking about buying breakfast, lunch, and dinner on some days. Over the years, I imagine that I’ve spent a fortune on takeout/restaurant/drive-thru food, almost certainly in the 5 figures.
The reason I decided to stop spending so much on food is because I realized that other than necessities (like rent, transportation, and utilities), food was my biggest money dump. I remember back when Bebe was first born, my partner and I did not cook or prepare any food whatsoever for the first two months of her life. We threw so much money toward UberEats that I’m pretty sure could have funded my child’s college education.
Here are some things I’ve realized since I started my ultra-frugal journey:
Most of us already live in great abundance. Of course, I know that many people in the United States (and worldwide) are unhoused and hungry, but most of us in this country have all of our most basic necessities - food, water, and shelter. Many people in this country are privileged enough to never know what it feels like to be hungry (myself included). The reason I mention this is because when you are in the habit of spending all the time, it’s easy to fall into a pattern of thinking that you need a lot of stuff. We don’t. For example, I have one sunblock that is specifically marketed for babies, one that is specifically marketed for adults, and a specific sunblock for the face. They’re all made of the same ingredients! The only difference is that the baby and face sunblock have less fragrance. I can only conclude that we do not need three types of sunblock. Or three types of any type of product, possibly.
Consumerism is intense. Consumerism is defined as “the theory that increasing the consumption of goods is economically desirable; a preoccupation with and an inclination toward the buying of consumer goods.” Everywhere you look, everywhere you go, someone is trying to sell you something. Billboards, ads, commercials, etc. are almost always within our line of sight. We have been sold so many lies - like, do we need shaving cream? Do we need a 6-step skincare routine that costs around $200? Of course, if those things make you happy, then go for it. But ask yourself first why you think that you need it. I ran out of my face moisturizer the other day and I’ve been using baby lotion to moisturize my skin ever since. And I swear nothing bad has happened at all. My face feels as good as ever.
I would like to also point out that many products are made to be disposed of. Paper plates, paper cups, water bottles, tampons, pads, plastic utensils, etc. When we buy things just to throw them away, that means we have to continually buy more of that product. Companies know this. Many companies have a whole team of individuals whose sole purpose is to make sure people keep buying their sh*t, whether we need it or not.
Social media is a capitalist nightmare. Similar to the point above, so much of what we see on social media now (Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, etc.) is meant to sell us something. This could be a product, service, or idea. When we see people on social media, who are (seemingly) living much better lives than we are, of course, going to want to use/consume whatever they are using/consuming. The other day, I watched a video of one of my favorite makeup influencers where she shows how she has a dozen (or possibly more) Stanley cups, and how much she loves them. She has a Stanley Cup in every color they offer, it seems. I don’t think that owning multiple colors of a certain product is bad, per se. But, I think that the unintended consequence of making these kinds of videos is making other people feel like they don’t have enough.
I am happier now than I was when I was overspending. This point is surprising to me, too. I have learned how to be happy with relatively little and it’s made me happier overall because I have stopped relying on external stimuli for happiness. A few months ago, if I was driving to work in the morning, I needed my vape, a large iced coffee/latte, and a large breakfast for the road. Since then, I have quit vaping, I only drink coffee from home (or just water, or nothing at all), and I stopped bothering with breakfast altogether. When I started this journey, I thought all of that would make me miserable, but instead made me feel like I’m capable of anything.
There are so many bigger and better things to spend our money on. Rather than spending my hard-earned dollars on takeout, clothes, and endless skincare products, it is infinitely more important to me that my family and I (1) buy a house, (2) travel well and create amazing memories together, and (3) have plenty of savings for emergencies and future retirement.
It’s harder to overeat when you’re committed to eating at home. This should come as a surprise to no one. Restaurant food is notoriously fattier, saltier, and sweeter than anything we make at home. And surprisingly, when you stop eating restaurant food, you eventually don’t want it as much.
Cutting stuff out of my life has truly made it richer, so far. I have no interest in going back to the way I was anytime soon. Not only do I feel a great sense of accomplishment for myself, but also for my family. Every decision that we make as parents and spouses is going to affect our families, so we all need to get our sh*t together, financially and spiritually.
XOXO, Alexis.