Ditch the Kids and Prioritize Each Other (For a Little While)
I’ll be the first to tell you that I would do anything for my daughter - anything at all. I’d give her the skin off my bones if I needed to (not to get too dark so soon into this article). But realistically, Bebe will not be with me forever - rightfully so. If the Universe gives her everything she deserves, she will grow up into a beautiful young adult, get a fantastic education, and then run off into the sunset with her chosen partner - if that’s what she wants. As much as I would love for my baby to stay my baby forever, that isn’t going to happen. But do you know who is going to be by my side forever (assuming he doesn’t leave me for someone half my age once I hit 40)? My beautiful husband. My partner in everything. The first person I call when anything good, bad, or slightly inconvenient happens. The person I call right after I get out of work, even if I have nothing to say. That’s why, even though kids always come first, it’s still important to prioritize our spouses. They’re our person forever. And even though we will always be there when our children need us, they will one day find their forever person.
Any married person with kids will tell you it’s super easy (way too easy) to put your spouse on the back burner when you become a parent. Me and my husband are guilty of this ourselves, sometimes. During the week, we both work full-time, take care of our daughter, keep the house clean, cook meals, and try to get to bed at a reasonable hour. It often feels impossible to juggle all of that, let alone give each other enough quality time. That’s why we utilize our village every chance we get.
We have been blessed with two people we can trust enough to keep our toddler overnight - my mom and my sister. My sister is an awesome person and is great with kids in general - my daughter adores her. My mom and I have had our issues since I was a kid, but she’s the best grandma. And let me tell you - way more lenient as a grandma than as a mom! Needless to say, both of them would die before they let anything happen to Bebe. So, whenever we have somewhere specific to go, or we just want a little alone time with no dependents in the house, we let my mom or sister have her for the night. I always miss her when she’s gone but getting a break from caring for someone is a great feeling, too. I don’t think it’s healthy to have to be “on” all the time.
So, if you’re reading this, I want you to find a trusted babysitter and have some alone time with your spouse (to the best of your ability). They say, “The grass is greener where you water it” and I believe that to be true.
Here are some ideas on what you guys can do together (besides the obvious *wink*):
Go for a boat ride. Assuming the weather is not too hot or cold where you live, a boat ride can be an awesome and intimate experience with your partner. If you have a boat, this should be very easy. But most people don’t own boats - in that case, you can go somewhere where they offer boat rides, or rent a boat to drive yourself. Take in the autumn breeze and just enjoy each other’s company - you both deserve it.
Go to the movie theater. I feel like going to the movies is falling out of the mainstream a bit - especially since going can be so expensive between purchasing tickets and concessions. That’s why me and my husband typically only go together when a really special movie comes out that we both want to watch.
Take a hike together in a scenic place. Storytime: it was during a sweaty, humid hike that my husband proposed to me. That was one of the most special days of my life. I came home that day with 100+ mosquito bites and a beautiful ring on my finger. The rest is history.
Do something artsy. My husband isn’t the artsy type at all - he doesn’t even really enjoy coloring with our toddler - so I can’t provide too many suggestions on this one. But I have gone painting with my friends and family before - the kinds of places that let you drink wine while you paint. It’s so much fun and if you and your partner are a little artsy, you will probably have a fabulous time.
Visit an amusement park/theme park together. Taking the kids to a theme park can be a lot of fun, but it can also be the worst - whining kids, tantrums, frequent bathroom breaks, you name it. But if you and your partner can find time to go to an amusement park or theme park together by yourselves, you’re bound to have a way more relaxing time than if you’d brought the kids with you. You can go on all the big rides together, eat where you want without having to accommodate picky eaters, and you can travel lightly (without diaper bags, sippy cups, toys, and the like). I highly recommend this one if you’re willing to put out some $$$.
Go ice skating or roller skating. Revisiting a childhood hobby with your partner can be such a special and warm experience. During my childhood summers, I spent a lot of time at a particular skating rink, and taking my husband there now would be an awesome experience.
Go to a karaoke place. Admittedly, I’m a little shy about singing in front of others but with just a shot or two, I could probably be convinced. I think it’s important to let loose and not take yourselves too seriously. Who cares if your singing voice sounds like a choir of dying birds?
Go to an escape room. If you and your partner love mysteries like me and my husband do, an escape room would make a perfect date night. Plus, it will give you a chance to hone your problem-solving skills.
Hit the beach. The beach is a forever favorite. The salty air, the ocean breeze, and the frigid water create the perfect vacation vibe. Imagine booking a hotel on the beach for a night or two, with a killer view off the balcony.
Play a murder mystery game at home. You can buy these at Target or Amazon. These types of games give you a scenario, some evidence, and a slew of suspects and you have to figure out who committed the crime in question. If you enjoy true crime like we both do, then this is a great option for you and your spouse.
Enjoy an expensive dinner together at your favorite restaurant. You already know where you and your spouse like to go eat together but if I can make a suggestion - my husband and I absolutely LOVE Korean BBQ. Nobody leaves there without having to be rolled out the door.
Hit the bar. If you and your spouse are busy parents like we are, then you don’t get a lot of opportunities to let loose at a bar like you did in your youth. So, if the grandparents are going to be keeping your little ones overnight, why not knock back a few High Noons for old times’ sake? Always be safe though, of course.
Visit a museum. Are you and/or your spouse nerds like my husband is? If so, take the chance to geek out at a museum. My husband and I have gone to numerous historical museums in St. Augustine and we always have a good time.
Visit an aquarium. Entrenched in the mystical blue light of an aquarium, you and your spouse will surely be able to forget about the everyday struggles that keep you from having more quality time together.
Some of you might be thinking that it’s selfish to make time for you and your spouse while your kids are still so little. On Instagram, I see a lot of reels where moms say things like “Me and my husband will have the rest of our lives to make time for each other - right now we just want to raise our babies.” But I disagree with that wholeheartedly. It’s so important to prioritize your partner right now - no matter how many little ones. When you and your partner take care of each other, you’re in a better position to tackle parenting as a team.
XOXO, Alexis.