How to Thrive During the Holidays With Little Ones
With 2 weeks left until Christmas (less than 2 weeks by the time I publish this article), it can be difficult for parents to figure out how they’re going to navigate the holidays with their small children. Between the disruption of daily routines, massive sugar overloads (thanks to older relatives, mostly), and the constant need to watch over our little ones to make sure they don’t huff and puff and blow the house down, surviving this time of year can feel like a Herculean effort.
Bebe was only about 3 weeks old during her first Christmas. Something I was not prepared for was just how time would be spent watching over her while spending Christmas with family. Pre-motherhood, I would typically roll up to the family party tipsy and empty-handed, offering only vibes. Now, with a little baby, I realized that holidays wouldn’t be all fun and games anymore. This became even more true during Bebe’s 2nd Christmas at 1 year old because she was very mobile and wanting to get into everything.
So, how can we make it through the holidays alive and with our little ones (mostly) happy? Below is a list of what I’ve come up with:
Lower your expectations. Completely forget about everything going smoothly and expect some amount of chaos to ensue. For example, you may go to lengths to prepare your family to go to your parents’ house, but then a diaper explosion happens, or someone forgets to bring the presents, or an older kid starts crying because they do not feel like socializing with their family members (this happened to my family last year).
Any number of other fiascoes may occur. Your tree might be decorated from the halfway point up (because little hands can’t reach higher). The family photo might feature a screaming toddler or one who refuses to wear the adorable outfit you picked out. Your schedule might revolve around nap time rather than Grandma’s big dinner, or a nap may not even happen at all (which will put a damper on everyone’s good time).
I recommend embracing imperfection and realizing that these are moments you will laugh about and miss dearly in the future.
Plan ahead the best you can. Again, not everything is going to go smoothly but that doesn’t you can’t try to plan ahead and anticipate certain mishaps. For example, most parents know to bring extra stuff with them if they’re visiting relatives for the holidays - such as extra diapers, wipes, clothes, binkies, toys, snacks, blankets, etc. If you’re planning on having the holiday part(ies) at your house, you may not need to prepare as much but it would be wise to close off at least one room so that your little ones have a quiet space to take a nap, settle down, or anything else they might need.
Toddler-proof your holiday decorations, if needed. We are very fortunate that Bebe doesn’t mess with our Christmas tree too much anymore, but it took a lot of time and re-directing to get us here. Toddlers are hardwired to love bright, sparkly lights and shiny, colorful ornaments. If you think your little ones can’t handle behaving around a Christmas tree it may be a good idea to implement one of the following tactics:
Buy or make sturdy, non-glass ornaments or stick to soft, non-breakable decorations.
Consider anchoring the tree to the wall so it doesn’t tip over.
Skip the tinsel (it’s a choking hazard) and keep candy canes out of reach.
Forego a Christmas tree altogether and opt for a felt Christmas tree instead (this is a depressing option, so I would leave it as a last resort for only the wildest of toddlers).
There are a few (non-glass) ornaments on our Christmas tree that Bebe likes to play with so if she asks for them, we just give them to her rather than waiting for her to try to get to them herself. As long as the ornaments they want are not a choking hazard, this can prevent a lot of accidents.
I’ve heard of people putting up baby gates around their tree to prevent little hands from getting on them. We have never done this in our house, but it’s not a bad idea, especially if you have several little ones.
Manage your relatives’ expectations. Small children, particularly toddlers, do not give a f*** about hurting other people’s feelings. I love that for them, but I do not love it for older relatives who are always so happy to see little ones, just to be met with rejection. This is especially true for my poor father, who has a hard time getting any kind of affection from my daughter. She does not care to give him hugs, kisses, or even a wave hello most of the time. I usually tell him that she will warm up to him after a little while, she just needs some space.
Even if your toddler is as friendly as can be, you may find yourself needing to leave a relative’s house early because of a meltdown, an accident, or some other kind of mishap. It would be wise to make sure your relatives know in advance that leaving early may be necessary.
Although Grandma may not appreciate it, remember that the family you make is the one that matters most. So if you need to skip the festivities altogether, then you should do so without any guilt.
Create kid-friendly traditions. Holiday traditions don’t have to be elaborate. In fact, keeping them simple can make the season even more special for little ones.
Watch kid-friendly Christmas movies, such as Mickey’s Christmas Carol or The Nightmare Before Christmas (these are favorites in our household). Another fun idea is re-watching the whole Harry Potter series. For some reason, they feel like Christmas movies to me.
Have each family member build/decorate a gingerbread house and then have a vote on who has the best one. We did this with our teenager last year, and it was a lot of fun.
Bake a holiday dessert. Let your little ones help in whatever way they can, even if it’s just mixing the batter.
Buy or make ugly Christmas sweaters for everyone.
Drive around and look at Christmas lights while sipping on hot cocoa. This has become my family’s Christmas Day tradition, along with buying Chinese food.
You don’t need to do all the things for Christmas - just choose a few fun things your family members will enjoy.
Keep gifts simple. When it comes to presents, less is more for small children. They’re often more interested in the wrapping paper or the boxes than what’s inside.
Choose toys that are age-appropriate, durable, and encourage creativity or problem-solving.
If you have a big family and plenty of friends, don’t worry too much about the quantity of gifts you buy them - they’re going to get more from other loved ones. My husband and I generally buy our children 3-4 gifts each for Christmas, which is much more than what some other kids receive.
For an older kid, 1-2 bigger/more expensive gifts may be equally appreciated.
Consider giving experiences instead of toys. It’s way too easy to clutter up your house with toys and other gadgets. A trip to the zoo or a theme park would be just as fun as a shiny new toy while mitigating the amount of stuff they receive during the holidays.
While gifts are exciting, it’s important to make sure kids know that material possessions aren’t everything. Time with family and good friends is what matters most during
Take breaks every chance you get. Parenting during the holidays can be draining, so try to prioritize your own needs when you get the chance.
Lean on your spouse and trusted family members. If I’m at a relative’s house for the holidays or an event, I know my toddler will be okay because all of the adults participate in keeping an eye on all the small children. That means I don’t have to hover over her the entire time.
If you’re stressed, go outside for a short walk to clear your head.
If you have no one around to help, put your kids in the car and drive around for a bit. The kids can’t run around if they’re strapped to the car and it’ll give you a chance to physically relax.
Don’t try to make everything perfect. Perfection isn’t achievable and it will only make you feel worse.
Try to capture sweet moments (but don’t obsess over it). It’s important to document these early holiday seasons with your little ones, but try not to let that keep you from living in the moment.
Try to get 1-2 family photos with your immediate family (spouse and children) and 1-2 extended family photos. If you can get more, great, but if not, at least you have a few to look back on.
Embrace silly pictures. These often come across much more sincere than stiff, posed pictures.
Capture some candid photos - which will tell a better story than the posed ones.
As a parent, the holidays can end up being one of the most challenging times of the year. But if you come prepared, lower your expectations, and embrace imperfection, you’ll be able to see the holidays for the magical time they are.
XOXO, Alexis.