What to Do When Your Toddler Doesn’t Want to Eat
I can’t begin to tell you the amount of times I’ve experienced the frustration of getting my toddler to eat. The list of foods my toddler doesn’t like is much much longer than the list of foods she does like. Whether she will eat a certain food also depends on the day and whether she feels likes it. It’s very subjective. I usually don’t worry too much about it but there are some more concerning days when she doesn’t want to eat at all, even her “safe” foods. When this happens, I try to remember that picky eating and food refusal are common developmental phases that most toddlers go through. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a picky eater as a child myself. There are also days when Bebe wants to eat everything in sight, so I figure that balances out her “no eat” days.
Common reasons toddlers don’t want to eat:
They’re going through a normal developmental phase. Toddlers always want to exert their autonomy as much as possible and refusing to eat can be one way for them to feel they’re in control. Sometimes, toddlers may refuse food simply because they enjoy the reaction they get from their parents. They may feel empowered by their ability to refuse food or demand attention during mealtimes.
Around the age of 2, it’s normal for toddlers to become more selective about what they eat. This is to be expected as they become more aware of textures, colors, and tastes. Toddlers’ appetites can also take a nose dive when they go through periods of slowed growth. They may not be as hungry as they were during their rapid growth phases, leading to less food intake.
Changes in routine. Stressors can be an appetite suppressant for anyone, especially toddlers.
Illness or teething. When my toddler is feeling unwell, her appetite pretty much vanishes, sometimes for the whole week. For some, this is a natural response to discomfort or pain.
Changes in their environment. Toddlers thrive on routine, so changes like traveling, moving to a new home, or experiencing disruptions in their daily schedule can lead to a lack of interest in food.
Sensory sensitivities.
Texture aversion. Some toddlers are more sensitive to the texture of certain foods. If your child is refusing food they usually enjoy, it might be due to a sensory issue such as a dislike of particular textures, which can happen at any age.
Overstimulation. A busy or noisy environment might cause your toddler to lose interest in food. Toddlers are easily distracted, and mealtime can sometimes be overwhelmed by external stimuli.
Food Preferences. Toddlers are developing their taste preferences, and they might have days where they refuse foods they previously liked. They may have developed a preference for certain flavors or types of foods, which can make them resist trying new things.
What to do when your toddler doesn’t want to eat:
Don’t push them to eat. This is a rule my husband and I stand by firmly. When Bebe doesn’t want to eat, we may offer her an alternative but we do not try to force her to eat. We also don’t punish her for not eating. Not being hungry isn’t a crime and it shouldn’t be treated like one. Additionally, we are all born with an innate ability to tell when we’re hungry and when we’re full, and our little ones are no different. Toddlers are tiny little humans and likely don’t need nearly as much food as we think they do.
Create a calm and positive mealtime routine. Establish a consistent mealtime routine to help your toddler feel secure and know what to expect. You can set specific times for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and avoid distractions like TV or phones during meals to help your little one focus on eating. Other ideas for creating a positive mealtime include playing soft background music, keeping the table clear of clutter, and keeping them company while they eat (even if you already finished your food). My toddler will not continue eating if we get up from the table.
Offer a variety of healthy foods but keep your expectations low. Offering a variety of healthy food likely increases the chance your child will eat something, but there is always a chance they won’t eat a single bite of anything. Keep in mind toddlers may need multiple exposures to a new food before they decide they like it. If your child rejects something the first time, try reintroducing it later without making a big deal about it.
Serve smaller portions. Perhaps your toddler is overwhelmed by the amount of food on their plate. By serving smaller amounts of food, they may see their meal as more easily conquerable.
Involve your toddler in food preparation, if you can. Toddlers generally love to help their parents in any way they can. You can set up a footstool if they’re too short to see above the counter and let them mix ingredients, wash produce, or set the table (if they’re tall enough). Doing so may make them feel a sense of ownership over what they eat.
Make their food fun and appealing. Presentation is everything when it comes to food. Try using shape cutters to get your child excited to eat. A Mickey-shaped veggie is almost certainly going to pique their interest more than a non-Mickey-shaped one. You can also make smiley faces and hearts using sauces/whipped cream/etc. If you’re able to get your child to eat a veggie by adding a little sweetness to it (like sugar or honey), I would still say that’s a win.
Model positive eating habits. If you’re not eating regularly, the chances of your child eating regularly are going to plummet. Likewise, if you don’t like to eat your fruits and veggies, you shouldn’t expect your child to want to eat them either. Children are skilled at imitating their parents when they want to, so you should be willing to eat whatever you want your child to eat.
Be patient with new foods. Toddlers are naturally cautious about new foods. If your child refuses a new food, don’t be discouraged. Studies show that it can take multiple exposures (sometimes 10 or more) before a toddler will accept a new food. Keep offering it in a non-pressuring way and stay patient.
Limit snacking throughout the day. Whenever we give Bebe snacks throughout the day, that almost guarantees that she won’t want to eat during mealtimes. She has a very small appetite so I generally don’t offer snacks at all unless she seems genuinely hungry (i.e. asking for actual food instead of just candy or ice cream). I don’t always restrict candy either, I just tell her that she can have a lollipop after dinner.
Getting a kid to eat can be challenging for anyone, so don’t beat yourself up if your child doesn’t love eating. They will likely grow out of it as they get older.
Please seek medical attention if you notice persistent issues with food refusal, extreme weight loss, or other signs of nutritional deficiencies (such as a lack of energy or developmental delays). It’s important to consult with a pediatrician or pediatric nutritionist. A professional can help rule out medical issues or offer additional guidance if the situation doesn’t improve over time.
XOXO, Alexis.