Our Potty Training Journey So Far
Now that my daughter is two years old, my husband and I have decided it’s time to buckle down on potty training. We first introduced her to the potty about two months before her second birthday, thinking she would pick up on it before she turned two. Sadly, that was not the case. Bebe understands what the toilet is and what she’s supposed to do but she has not been super interested in actually using it. In fact, I can count on one hand how many times she has used the potty in the past 4 months. Since she has reached every other milestone seamlessly thus far, this took us by surprise.
There may be any number of reasons why a child would resist potty training.
First, there could be physical discomfort. A child could potentially be constipated, have a urinary tract infection, or even just a diaper rash. It’s a good idea to rule these out if you’re also struggling with potty training your toddler.
They may be afraid of the potty. Using the toilet is a concept unfamiliar to them since they have been diapered their whole lives. I suspect that with more time and exposure, any toddler may be more comfortable using the toilet. After all, the sudden sound of a flushing toilet or the feeling of water splashing up on your butt could spook anyone if you’re not used to it.
Getting a toilet seat that fits your child’s bum is important. If it’s too big and they fall too deep into it, that could spook them as well.
Your child may feel overly exposed on the toilet. Since they’re used to their butts being covered and warm all the time, spending time on the toilet with their butts exposed probably feels unsettling. Only time and exposure can help this.
The potty may make them feel less in control or they might just find it boring. When you’re on the potty, you can’t do much else. That means that your child would have to put their toys down for a while to use the toilet, which they may not like. And the more you show that you want them to use the toilet, the more they might resist. If you’re open to screen time, it could be helpful to let them play a game on your phone while they’re doing their business so they don’t get bored. Of course, if your kid loves screen time, that could backfire because then they might pretend to need the potty to get more screen time. Every part of parenting is a balancing act.
If you’re not open to screen time, you can let your child color, play with stickers, blow bubbles, or any other activity that keeps your child’s mind busy while they work on doing their business.
As for our journey, we started by buying one of the little toilet seats that you put on top of your regular toilet seat. At the time, I didn’t want to have to clean one of those potty-training toilets with the basins. Bebe used it the very first time we sat her on it, but never again afterward. Eventually, we caved in and bought a Bluey-themed potty-training toilet that talks when you “flush” it. We’ve had a bit more luck with this one because it turns out you need to make potty training fun if you want to have any success. At least that has been the case with our daughter. The toilet seat is also smaller and fits her bum better, so she probably finds it more comfortable. The potty-training toilet came with Bluey-themed stickers and those seem to be a great motivator.
Some have told us that potty training can be done very quickly and easily if you’re able to dedicate about 3 days to it (I’ve also watched a few YouTube videos about this, stating the same thing). The idea is that you give your toddler lots of water or juice throughout the day and then sit them on the potty every 20 or so minutes. Ideally, you would keep them out of a diaper all day. This can be messy if (when) they have an accident on themselves, but it may make them realize that they need to use the toilet if they don’t want to get pee/poop on themselves. This is a method we plan on trying, but it’s been a bit difficult to implement since we both work 5 days a week and usually have several chores and errands to run on the weekends.
I talked to my sister about this since she helped raise me (13-years age difference) and has 2 kids of her own. She made it sound so easy - simply sit the kid on the toilet and make them stay until they pee or poop, and then you’ll be good to go. She told me this is how she potty trained me. However, we haven’t found this process to be as easy. It’s possible we could have an extra stubborn kid on our hands.
Very recently, Bebe has started sitting on her toilet without us putting her there but doesn’t actually pee or poop. We don’t know why this is but we let it happen in hopes that she’s truly ready for potty training and will start peeing and pooping in the toilet soon without much coaxing from us.
If you’re also struggling with potty training, don’t beat yourself up. It can be so difficult and what works with one kid may not work with another. Lots of parents out there don’t even attempt to potty train until their toddler is 3 years old. Likewise, if your potty training journey is going as planned, that’s extremely impressive and you should be proud of yourself and your child.
Every child is a little bit different and moves on their timeline. Just about every adult out there knows how to use the toilet with no difficulty, so focus on that.
As Chilli (from Bluey) says, “Run your own race.”
XOXO, Alexis.