The Reality of Childcare Costs for Parents
This past week was a very special (and somewhat somber) one for me and my family. At 18 months old, my little cherub started daycare for the first time. Until now, she had been staying with my mom, my sister, or my mother-in-law, depending on their availability. Having a little “village” to take care of my baby while we work has been very comforting to me. When Bebe was an infant, I simply could not stomach the thought of dropping her off at daycare, with no one to care for her other than strangers. I know a lot of parents out there have no choice but to put their newborns and infants in daycare, which (for me) highlights a great travesty in our society. In my view, babies are meant to be with their parents for at least the first year. It doesn’t have to necessarily be mom, dads are just as important and capable of taking care of their babies. But I digress.
About a month ago, when my partner and I first started talking about putting our child in daycare, I felt sick about it. Even though she is well into the toddler stage, I felt a twinge of guilt that I couldn’t just stay home with her (at least not without severely impacting our finances). And another pit in my stomach about how much daycare was going to cost us. Daycare is notoriously unaffordable in our country and the daycare that we found (and liked very much) is no different. In fact, the daycare facility we found is a bit more expensive than other daycares in the area. The breakdown of tuition is as follows:
$875/month - cost of part-time daycare for toddler (2 days per week)
$1,175/month - cost of part-time daycare for toddler (3 days per week)
$1,440/month - cost of full-time daycare for toddler (5 days per week, Mon-Fri)
Mind you, these are toddler prices. Full-time daycare for newborns/infants is $1,500+ per month. The sweet woman who led our tour mentioned that some parents have 2 or even 3 of their kids enrolled. At that point, you’re working to afford daycare. And I feel like if your income significantly exceeds about $4,000+ in daycare tuition per month, you might as well hire a nanny. But I only have one kid, so thankfully, that’s not my concern.
On the plus side, this facility offers access to cameras for parents, and periodic updates through an app, telling us when our child has eaten, had their diaper changed, etc. It’s very clean and set up to be very safe (unlike some daycares out there). The toddler playground is also fully shaded, which is so nice. The women in charge of the age group that my daughter is in are so kind. Every day for nap time, my daughter has had a hard time falling asleep, and one woman in particular rocks her to sleep very patiently, even though most of the other kids can fall asleep on their own. I was so happy to see that. This facility also offers VPK and private schooling for K-5.
On the other hand, my partner and I had toured another facility nearby a few weeks ago just to see what their prices would be, but we were not impressed. The facility was not quite as clean, had a bit of a smell, and the age groups were not fully separated from each other. The playground was also not shaded and didn’t look very clean, either. Oh, and they don’t provide access to cameras, which is a dealbreaker for me. My daughter can’t speak yet, so I need to be able to ensure that she is not being mistreated. That facility did offer a lower price - $1,260 per month for full-time care for a toddler - but we decided we would pay a bit more for higher quality.
I don’t want to seem like I am hyper-focused on the price, however. At Bebe’s age, I can see the benefits of daycare for her. Until now, she has never had too many opportunities to play with kids her age. Playgrounds that we have taken her to in the past are always too big for her. Also, even though she has been in daycare for less than a week, I can already see an improvement in her speech (which was already quite advanced for her age) and her ability to eat on her own. She seems to really like the teachers there, too, which is so relieving for me. Still, I do not believe that childcare should be so costly. Nor do I believe that daycare workers should be paid so little. In Florida, the average hourly wage for a daycare worker is right around minimum wage ($12/hour in Florida). With that wage, you wouldn’t even be able to afford a studio apartment. Meanwhile, you are responsible for the most important part of people’s lives - their children. What a paradox.
So, what’s a good solution? That will depend on who you ask and what their political views are. Some might say that parents just need to make more money, or they need to have one parent stay at home with the kids. Both of those options sound ideal until you realize that most people can’t boost their income overnight, and not everyone lives in a two-income household. Many parents out there are taking care of their children on their own (whether because of divorce, death, or any other number of reasons) and they don’t have family they can rely on. That makes daycare their only option, which is so gut-wrenching to think about. More than once, I have felt backed into a corner as a parent and it’s not a good feeling.
On the other hand, some others might say that a good solution would be for parents to receive much longer paid parental leave. Currently, most companies in the U.S. only offer 6 weeks of unpaid maternity leave - something that is truly criminal in my opinion. I tend to agree with this option, and I believe it should apply to both mothers and fathers. Perhaps one year of paid parental leave for each parent (for a total of 2 years), with a guarantee that they will still have their jobs once parental leave is over. This would allow children to have proper bonding time with each child and would allow women to re-enter the workforce sooner, putting them on more equal economic footing with men.
In short, parenthood (the greatest joy in the world) has been made so difficult by our society, for no good reason. And we parents have no real choice other than to work with the system until change comes along.
XOXO, Alexis.