A Day in Our Lives - Newborn vs. Toddler
As I am typing this, my daughter is 19 months old. Later this month, she will hit 20 months old. That’s right – she’s now closer to two years old than one. In the nearly two years since Bebe was born, our lives have not only changed dramatically from before we had a baby, but it has continued to change almost constantly as Bebe moves through all her stages of development.
The hectic, sleepless newborn days are nothing like our current toddler days. Furthermore, Bebe’s earlier toddler days were nothing like they are now. For example, although being a worried mom is something that will never go away entirely, the constant (and sometimes irrational) anxiety that comes with having a vulnerable newborn baby has dissipated. I no longer worry about whether she is going to stop breathing in her sleep, or whether she is going to roll over and be smothered by the crib sheet. Similarly, when Bebe first started walking (around 10 months old), I was constantly worried about her falling over and hitting her head (which has happened, by the way, more than once. Thankfully, she’s okay and has no permanent injuries). But now, Bebe walks and runs around the house quite steadily, alleviating that specific fear.
All of this is to say that if you’re the parent of a newborn or small infant, and perhaps struggling quite a bit to keep up with every aspect of your life, I want you to know that life is going to change slowly but steadily for you. Although time usually goes by too fast when you have small children, it can be a relief when your child reaches a more advanced (and slightly more independent) stage of life. And you shouldn’t feel guilty about feeling relieved that your baby is getting bigger – two conflicting emotions can exist at the same time. I would do anything to get to experience the newborn “scrunch again,” but no way would I want to go back to getting 4-5 non-consecutive hours of sleep per night.
Being able to put my baby in the bed with us and not worry about suffocation was a game changer for us (and we sleep so much better now). Likewise, our child can now feed herself while we complete other tasks (nearby, of course) at the same time, which feels insane. Mealtimes used to be an arduous battle. There are probably dozens of other examples I could give.
To give you all an idea of how different our lives are now compared to when we had a newborn baby, I have outlined below how each day looked for us at both stages of her life.
***
Life with a newborn baby:
5:30 a.m.
Wake up.
Walk the dog.
Feed the dog and cat.
Pump as quickly as possible (usually a 30-minute process).
Clean the pump parts (another 10 minutes, at least).
Prepare bottle for baby.
Wake up baby, change her diaper, and feed her.
Get Bebe ready to go to Auntie's or Grandma’s house (depending on the day).
Take a shower and get dressed.
Pack up the pump + pump parts to go to work, being mindful of sanitary practices.
Pack up the baby, her stroller, and the baby bag, and get everything into the car.
Drop off the baby and head to work.
*Please note that my partner and I would divvy up these tasks – if, for any reason I had to do this all by myself, I probably would have had to wake up around 4:00 a.m.
8:30 a.m. – 5:00 p.m. – Go to work. I would try to pump 2-3 times during work, which wasn’t always easy. Employers always say they’re fine with it, but I was questioned about it multiple times.
5:30 p.m. – 12:30 a.m.
Go home.
Pump several more times.
Spend as much quality time with my baby as I could.
Several feedings (every 2-3 hours).
Almost constantly washing bottles and pump parts.
Try to find time to eat dinner.
Try to tidy up.
Go to bed.
12:30 a.m. – 5:30 a.m. - Try to sleep but probably wake up several times to feed the baby and/or rock her to sleep.
Reminiscing on our daily routine from back then makes me wonder how we ever got through it. Although I will admit that I eventually burned out from pumping all the time and tried out directly breastfeeding (which I would strongly recommend if you’re nursing/interested in nursing). At that point, I would only pump at work, which saved us a ton of time (and constant washing) at home. When Bebe was about seven months old, I started weaning down. By the time she was 10 months old, I had quit breastfeeding altogether. I didn’t quite make it to my 1-year goal, but I was proud of myself for sticking to it for more than six months. And let me tell you, life got a lot less complicated for me once I was done breastfeeding. Although I imagine it would have been a better experience had I not been a working mom.
***
Life with a toddler:
6:00 a.m. -
Wake up.
Take a shower, get dressed, etc.
Make the bed.
Feed the cat (our dog has since passed away, so no need to walk him anymore. RIP.).
Wake up our toddler.
Get her dressed, do her hair, put on her shoes.
Give baby her milkie while we watch Bluey.
Brush her teeth.
Make sure we have a change of clothes to take with us to daycare.
Out the door!
8:30 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. - Go to work. No need to pump anymore, so I’m able to get some work done and no longer have to sacrifice my lunches.
5:30 p.m. - 10:00 p.m. -
Pick up baby from daycare and go home.
Make dinner for all of us.
Clean up after dinner.
Play with baby/watch a show or movie together.
Bathtime/pajamas/bedtime milkie.
Sing baby to sleep and put her in her crib. We usually have her in bed no later than 9:00 p.m.
Take a shower, go to bed ourselves.
10:00 p.m. - 6:00 a.m. - SLEEP. Usually baby sleeps through the night now, but if she wakes up, we just bring her to bed with us and go back to sleep. It’s a dream.
***
So, as you can see, our lives are still very busy with each of us working full-time and parenting a toddler the rest of the time. I don’t expect (or even necessarily want) that to change anytime soon. But the major differences are that we can sleep in a bit later now than we could before, and we can consistently get enough sleep at night. I can’t tell you how great it’s been. So, if you’re in the middle of the newborn/small infant stage, just know you have so much to look forward to. I will certainly miss my baby as a toddler, but I know I am going to love and appreciate every single stage of her life even more than the last.
XOXO, Alexis.